There was a time in my life where things were always about 70% good.

While that qualifies as passing in most places and almost every guy out there is fine with a 7 out of 10 HOT female you tend to be always left wanting more.

I’m mentioning this to set up where my mind was at and how my live was when this story happened.
<Also economy of scale in terms of what you are used to with certain things>

Proactive Suggestion: While you are reading this in you back of your mind think about the most shocking thing anyone has ever told you while dating.

It all starts with “I met a girl at a bar”

One random Thursday I go out with a few co-workers in the trendy Meat Packing District of NYC. Minding my own business I’m enjoying my time with no real agenda other than bonding time with my co-workers.

Mind you there was a ton of talent at this bar but at the height of it’s frame that part of town was dripping with SMOKESHOWS anywhere you went. After about an hour or so the team leader says she’s going to be heading home but she’s going to pre-pay the tab and allow us to keep it going.

Night continues, and it’s good times had by all. One by one members of the group start leaving but it’s of no matter. As you each drink at different paces, we were not doing rounds of drinks. Rather we were going up to the bar and getting them one by one. The coolest thing about this bar (back in the day) was for an extra $0.50 to $1.00 <depending on the time of day> you could “CHALLENGE THE BAR” – which meant by paying that little bit extra you now have a coin flip chance of getting the drink you just ordered for free.

Fun & Easy Concept, great odds of winning.

Fast forward to me and my boss closing out the tab and thinking we came in right around the our limit with a decent tip included. Worst case, we toss in $10 each.

To our surprise, we were way under ($144 credit remaining). As we are trying to make sense of it and decide what to do the bartender tells us our group had an incredible two hour run of free drinks, “getting all the coin flips right”.

My boss just looks at me, laughs, and tells me to order food and deal with it because he had to get home to the wife.

I sit – Proceed to make friends.

In walks, what I assumed at the time, was a model.

Gorgeous 5’9′ Venezuelan girl with platinum blond, dyed hair, curves in all the right places and legs for days.

She sits next to me.

In real life I would never be so bold as to say out of the blue “What drink should I tell the bartender I’m getting you?” But that’s what I said.

But when you’re paying with the houses money and you’re already 5 deep yourself things start to happen and sometimes it magic. <don’t think about the other times>

We chat each other up for another 45 minutes, then I close out, covering her bill – all under the remaining credit.

Numbers are exchanged, and I give her the double kiss goodbye -I was trying to hint at my charm.

A few days later she invites me out to meet up with her at some high-end spot. She’s tells me she’s going with a couple people but I’m not really sure if this is going to be: Here is my ______.
A. date
B. new daddy <meal-ticket>
C. business guy who pays for people I’m with

I pivot saying I have plans that night, but we agree to see each other Monday for something fun and easy after work.

Tooting my own horn – I crush the next date.
Monday tends to be “industry night” and a lot of under the radar cultural events. I used to be in the loop of things and put together a cheap HH, dinner at a Speakeasy Taco Spot, then Free Open Wine Pour Art Gallery event.
All locations – “heels friendly walkable”

Now the 3rd Date

So far things have been awesome with this girl.
We have major chemistry together, when we go out people look at us in ways that make me feel like I have 24/7 big swinging d status, and the sexual tension is dripping – so many perfect moments being made.

The 1st crack in the armor is shown.

Everything so far has been super easy, and buttery smooth. I even think to myself during the time “this is always what I knew things should be like”. As we are chatting trying to plot meeting up next (with phone calls, not testing) her schedule isn’t as open as it was previously. I ignore the ever so slight spider-sense tingle, assuming this is likely due to the fact we are 100% slamming the next time we see each other. Then knowing her and her roommates schedule (I was taking notes) I plot the day and time we are hanging out, done in such a way she can’t think of any logical reason to say no.

When we meet next she has a surprise she says she’s bringing with her. The moment she shows up I could tell the vibe is a bit different. But I’m distracted by the real life dog she suddenly pulls out of her God knows how much she page handbag.

I’ve gone on record many times saying I’m not a fan of small dogs but this little guy had a charm to him with the stuffed animal cuteness to match. We got into one of my favorite places in Greenwich Village and a quick drink before drink turns into another great conversation between us. Leaving the spot, I tell her some of the historical and personal reasons I love going there.

As we are walking I grab her hand, she squeezes it tight and minutes later I’m rubbing her back. Still walking to the restaurant I shift my body language to – let’s skip dinner bc your Milkshake is bringing my boys—- to the Candyshop, oh here’s your new Lollipop.

I know what a few of you might be think… come on, I read the title, stop BS-ing me and get to it.
All I want to make clear is that while I am giving vibes at this moment I’m also getting them back in return.
100% butterflies on both sides. I’m old enough at this time to have learned from some of my earlier stupidity.

As we are turning the corner to walk down the street to the restaurant we are about to pass the subway that’s 2 stops from her place, super easy to pop over to (5 min). I grab her and plant a movie scene kiss on her at the top of the stairs. It’s going a few seconds as a rush of people are exiting the subway approach us. Somehow in a very Moses way no one bumps into us they part like the Red Sea allowing the children of Israel to cross the sea safely.

I whisper in her ear, “I want you so f…… bad.”

She pulls back, looks at me, and tears start pouring out of her eyes.

Then I hear “I need to tell you something”

I’m instantly numb as I know 99% chance this is going to change something between us.

Then I hear: “I’m positive”

??????????? HUH ???????????? In my head, my 1st thought was “did she just find out this week she’s pregnant? Maybe an ex or someone a few weeks before I met her and now I’m gonna be the shmuck left holding the bag of responsibility?

No!

That would have been better.

She clarifies, “I’m HIV positive”

THERE ARE NO WORDS….

The look and emotions we exchange with our body languages says it all.

I didn’t say a word and pull back from her as I’m seeing colors and flashes in my vision. The next few moments are a bit fuzzy in my memory but I know I didn’t immediately leave. I recall being walked by her into the subway station on West 4th street and the only thing I remember is her saying to me is something about the drugs getting better to treat it. Then her saying “there are a few methods people have made _____ work…. then some comment about “the virus doesn’t transfer to the baby but the act of giving birth will put the child in ##% of being infected during the process.

I walk away.

The last back and forth we had was a few days later.

Initiated by her.

Communication ends when I texted her “when do you typically feel it is appropreiate to share this information with people? Situations may vary but before an official date and more importantly any act of intimacy…”

DONE _period

—- Contract Blocked —- Everything Deleted —- Hair Falling out for the next 3 days from the STRESS of waiting for the AIDs test results —-