Let’s get into the funny….

For the past year and a half I’ve been trying to appeal getting kicked off both Bumble and Hinge.

Bumble, I’m pretty sure it’s because – they got rid of the normal email log-in ability a while back. When that happened, logging with via Facebook became the new default . Well when I set FB up years back I put my birth year as 1917. When that happened I got flagged for false identity and got a pop up upon log-in saying my profile was banned for violating their user agreement T&C’s.

I’ve tried a bunch of things to correct this VIOLATION but for some reason every time I try to re-download and launch the app – it errors out.
Trust me when I say I’ve tried everything. The only positive result was trying to activate a new account on a different phone. So it has to be my Device ID or IMEI number getting blacklisted.

Fun right? 
I’d love for them to actually not auto reply a copy/paste violation message. I’ve written 5 times to appeal the block and can’t even confirm what I did in violation.

Hypothetically – How is someone supposed to learn a lesson and correct their actions/behaviors if they don’t even know what the negative cause was to begin with.

The reason(s) I’m banned on Hinge – far more entertaining.

During the pandemic, I think I got a bit too bored. They say idle hands are the devil’s play-toy and that might be true – when provoked & justified. I pride myself on being a happy, self actualized person; who up until this point in life, has been able to resolve most challenges faced. Many life lessons along the way but all part of growing up. This void of time <The Pandemic> was something I never would have thought was possible.

Feeling the shifting of weight across societies and cultures was F-ing weird. Almost fitting that ‘Stranger Things’ was a popular show at the time because we were living in the upside-down.

When I grew up high school and college girls could talk your head off, about nothing. But yet keep saying words almost as if every thought and decision matrix was supposed to be explained. Guys would turn out, half the time but roll with it, as best as possible.

Somehow between 2018 ad 2022 I missed the memo and changing of the guard with female communication patterns + style.

When you’re stuck home alone trying to fill the endless void of time with robust conversational topics it’s a bit saddening to realize the art of conversation has been lost on some people. I’m not trying to publish a book of poetry or write a college thesis. I’m just trying to find a connection point or topic(s) we can both comfortably engage upon.

So many females wouldn’t write anything in their profile or give the most basic “I like movies, music, and travel. When I can I also eat food. Sometimes in different places.”

You only get one chance to make a 1st impression. With online stuff – I can only form an opinion from what you post on your profile and share in the group chat. If you think all guys care about are looks – state that or say that you think you are hot enough to not have to worry about trying to hard in life. Instead, the nothing-ness of your character only suggests that you are either DUMB, LAZY, or BASIC- lacking any degree of depth and calling out the stability of your own character.

Still, trying to give people the benefit of the doubt I attempt putting things in s simple terms.
I brake it down as one of the following 2nd chance ideas to show who you are:

• What’s important to know about you? Passion points, Pet Peeves, Dealbreakers…. Whatever you are comfortable with sharing
• What are some of the fun parts of your fundamentals? <Things that matter>
• What’s unique about you? Hobbies/Skills/Talents?

When we got out of the official lock down phase I play around asking “with all the free time everyone had, previous procrastinations you were able to check off finally doing?

Ironic that so many people used to make the excuses to not do things – usually stating there was never enough hours in the day or if they only had the time…

Deep Thoughts

I know – ??? This is casual dating app stuff. Chill-out. You are over thinking it. $#@%

As I said before, sometimes having too much time on your hands is bad. Sh*t will manifest —-

So after months of dealing with a wide spectrum of female quirks and a few situations I could only solve if I read minds – I got a little jaded

Then, things turned even more bizarre for me in the dating app world. I started getting messages from females braking the ice or responding to me saying some pretty bold things. Not sure how some people were raised or the manners they were taught – but if I don’t know you and you don’t know me there should be an unsaid level of respect. You never know who you might run into at a later point in time.

Why, (potentially) set yourself up to fail.

My hope was that others feel the same.

It takes two to tango. As I’m getting these curveballs I adapt. Flowing off the energy I’m surrounded by or presented with.

How would you feel if you got comments like this from a female?

[Unprovoked 1st messages]      

• Where are you taking me?
• Go….
• I’m a dominant ….. <there is the criteria of what I require from my men…>

[You write them and they response with the following: First words of engagement]     

• What’s your job?
• Are you chivalrous? I need a real man who understands how to treat me like a lady.
• Are you generous? How do you like to treat a lady?
• I’ve been wanting to go to ________ (insert high end $$$ spots)

Geez, can you at least lube me up with a compliment or two before you try to F$%&k me???

I decide if people are going to be rude and mess with me I’m gonna give it right back to them.

If I recall correctly some of my responses:

• I’m taking you to the local community college so you can get a job and pay for your own shit
• Oh nice, you’re the old school traditional type. I didn’t think there were any virgins let in NYC over 18.
  
• Stop…. I haven’t played red light – green light since I was a kid.
  
• Meow? <emojis>
  
• My job… I do epic shit
• Divorce lawyer, with a growing practice specializing in “Pre-Nups”
• Risk Investigation & Analysis stuff – I’m continuously amazed by the things people try to get away with and hide from.
  
• Chivalry: While I’m all about opening a door and being polite with manners I’m. not your father and I’m not expecting you to be my domestic house-maid. It was cute in the 1950s but I prefer getting my our cocktail and slippers when I come home. Trying to make people jealous of who I end up with not allow them to pitty me.
• I’d love to hear your definition of chivalry. I’m hoping to find more of an equal / better half. If you are looking to be subjugated and abused – there are other apps for that here’s some education on the matter =)
  
• Didn’t I see you on only fans last night? Wait it could have been FetLife… you have to tell me more about the thing with the Gerbil
  
• Sorry, I’m sick of that place. Been there too many times for work. I know a couple better spots but had a really busy work schedule this week and next. Any chance an afternoon coffee or drink right after work is doable.
• I’m sorry I stopped doing dinner on the first date. I can’t deal with another accidental tragedy from a joke so pun said at the wrong time.

1st date GOAL – no agenda needed on either side. I actually want to have a conversation with you and understand if I can tolerate you for more than 10 minutes. If we click things will flow easy and there will be no need to stress about things as fun will find us.

This cheeky style of responding to people that rubbed me the wrong way evolved into little things most people get but tend to brush off.

Other Sassy Reactions

Female writes you with a single Emoji:
– Im going to assume this was a butt dial type mistake because you don’t seem like a retarded mute.

Nothing in the profile but lists seeking Long Term or Serious Only:
– You wrote nothing in your profile and nothing to me. Right you are attractive and that’s why I liked you but your laziness and lack of effort is a weak 1st impression. Good luck with the next guy who with tolerate that, bc he just wants to hook up with someone decent. Its sad to thing you never want anyone to get to know you and that’s you’re okay with being treated as an object.

Yeah, that last one was probably the one. Ughs… seriously – I don’t want to be like this but what’s the point of being on a dating app if basic communication to establish your profile is a struggle?

Don’t give me that “I’m a introvert…”. Being shy does not apply to the ability to type words on a keyboard that convey basic details and simple facts.

I’m sure there are exceptions and examples of people so sheltered or previously bullied and they aren’t able to express themselves but if that’s the case don’t be online or literally state your condition. There’s someone for everyone. Just have it makes sense – somehow.

But human nature is a tricky thing. There used to be ways to keep people in check or at least establish basic protocols / standards. I know we will eventually get there. Let’s just try not loath & hate each other along the way.

Also keep in mind we are smart monkeys with awesome thumbs. It took us a thousands upon thousands of years to get to things like Democracy Woman’s Suffrage and Civil Rights

Yup… this is the new normal.