The Sad Serb w/ the Cute Dog who Tried to Bang Me

<updated March 8th, never use auto correct speech to text software>

I love the women from the Balkan region. They are a unique blend of down to Earth country folk and High-End Exotic European. Without getting into it too much I’ll just say the region has had its issues, especially during the 1990’s break up of Yugoslavia. Anytime you meet a women who has seen the reality of war that person is forever changed and they tend to live life a bit closer to the edge.

Finding people sometimes is all about timing. Right time, right place, right vibe – magic can happen. Sadly for this tale it’s never a good look to start dating someone who is unemployed with a growing sense of concern of their own future.

I met a girl from North Macedonia one day on Tinder. Tall, exotic looking, seemed to have a sharp edge and style to match.

She lives downtown (WTC area) in a very nice high rise luxury doorman building. During the pandemic days were long and drawn out for her. Her family lived in Floridia and she never really got around to making friends up here. During the pandemic she adopted a new best friend in the form of a female pure white Siberian Huskey with gorgeous blue eyes.

Like most people during the pandemic there was a lot of staying at home time down tine. As a result the bond between her and the dog cemented quickly.

I meet this pair as we are starting to get back to normal with everything. People are going back to work and the new normal is starting to take its form. Whenever I hear a girl, I’m about to go on a date with, has a dog I ask some DISCOVERY questions to understand a bit more about what I’m dealing with. The Macedonian seems pretty flexible with a decent support system in the building as it was full of dog owners and they all seemed to help each other out.

We meet up for mini golf and hit it off, right away. Both of us brought a flask to drink while playing so I knew we were on the same page with so many things. The friendly bet we made was for a drink afterwards so when I win I joke that I’ll order something cheap.

As the drinks flow and the night progresses we leave the bar as she says she has to walk the dog. We both admit we expected this to a quick and easy meet up but neither one of us wanted to call it a night. So I go back with her to walk the dog.

Back at her place I meet the pup and we get along swimmingly.

But that’s when couple odd red flags start to surface.

Items in her place that symbolize the occult!?!

1. Goat Head Skull
2. Artistic photo of black angel wings
3. Photos of black crows

I had to ask what they all meant.

She’s confused by the fact I even asked about it. So I drop it

and that’s when:

Well that’s when I notice the goat skull tattoo on her side.

Why?!?!?

That’s not the end of it.

Any sane rational person would have walked away from this, but I’m a weak weak man and like to dip my fun stick in the pudding.

Now the next problem.

I live 20 minutes from her in New Jersey on the river. <I can literally see her building from my building>

For women who live in Manhattan, crossing the river is a big deal.
Not sure what the mental block is, maybe too many “How I Met Your Mother” jokes growing up.

Sometimes you can get them to go to Brooklyn.
Queens, tends to be pushing it.
Bronx, only for a Yankees game.
NJ – no dice

As a result I’m forced to go over to her studio apartment to drink and have our fun.

Well, remember the dog.

She (the dog) got jealous.

Great pup, but I’m stealing mama time and there’s no where to run no where to hide in a 550 sq ft studio apartment.

The dog is constantly on bed, pushing her off is only a temporary solution. When the clothes come off, she waits till we get about 30 seconds into stuff when HELLO! Puppy love.

I should of known this would happen when she told me the neighbors complaining about the dog when she leaves to run errands.
No joke if she’s gone more than 20 minutes the dog whimpers at the door till she comes back.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness in my world and I’m not down rolling around in dog fur, let alone having what equates to a 3-way with a dog in the bed.

So what do I do???

I try to find a way to make it work but …

Here’s the final straw:
The last time we hook up I finish on her stomach. She gets up to go to the bathroom and clean up. In doing so the dog jumps on her and licks it off. There runs over to me.

I hated to end things but the whole thing is too much.

I tell her – I need to figure out a couple things on my end.

I wanted to say the God’s honest truth, but in her fragile, unemployed state – all she had was the dog.

While I did like her, it wasn’t to the point where I was about to say it’s me or the dog.

So the dog won.

And honestly the dog was way cuter than me.